What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

When British people write X after everything, are they being serious or trying not to be awkward?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

If I get served by someone else's papers, am I legally required to inform the person that they got served, or the court that they served the wrong person?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What's the most trivial thing that ever made you go to the doctor?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What happened to the American Russell Bentley from Texas that was fighting for the pro-Russian commies?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Have you ever had sex with your female cousin? How did it start?

TEXT:

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

If gays can get married, why can't I marry my dog or a cheeseburger?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

How can we become the best humans? How can we trust each other?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What makes someone feel "rich enough" in different societies?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!